| View: | User Info. |
| View: | Friends. |
| View: | Calendar. |
| View: | Memories. |
| You're looking at the latest 9 entries. | |
|
|
InsaneJournal for Amanda.
|
||||||||||
| Wednesday, October 15th, 2008 |
|
||||
|
Well fall break started friday, ended up not going to my last two classes because Todd was giving me a ride to my dads. and his last class ended at 1 so... i just didnt go! Anyway, got to dads about 230 started laundry and did some random things until rhonda got home and started making dinner! after dinner we all went to Sullivan norths football game! most of the game the team sucked, played elizabethon, but in the end we won. i watched the cheerleaders most of the time, they were sloppy and very unorganized. but none the less cheered the team on... only one girl had the type of spirit a cheerleader needs. anyways, after leaving the game we came back to the house and just basically lounged around dad and rhonda went to sleep. satuday got up later and just lounged around until dad got home, ate lunch and everyone got ready to go get marlene and go to jonesborough for fenders farms corn maze. which was stupid! anyway on the way home, i was given the choice of where we would eat and that lead to a whole big speal on how my headache was so bad that i couldnt figure out where we would eat and blah blah blah! so we went back to the house and had leftovers... sunday slept through church and finished laundry. was supposed to go to trishes baby shower but NO marlene didnt want to so we couldnt! so we showed up late, and didnt do anything just got there and left. went back to KK's and talked for awhile. then went home, where i decided to go tanning, stopped by LC and filled out an application to work during winter break. then got bleach for mom and went home. had a little bit of chicken alfredo and couldnt eat anymore. found out papaw isnt doin to good and so on and so forth. talked to daniel for awhile, once he finally decided he wanted to come get me it was 1230, which i was fine with. he came and got me, we went back to erwin and hung out at his house until 3am and headed back to johnson city. it was what we did while at his house that was in short fun! simply he enjoyed it to the fullest. we went to third base and i dont know if i was disappointed or suprised but whatever it was its something that i cant take back. we didnt have sex thats for sure, but i dont want to even think about the possibility that maybe eventually i could give into him and let that happen. naturally i dont want to but sometimes my emotions take hold. monday slept all day, had pizza for dinner, in which when i went to get it james gave me free bread and sauce!!! came home and stayed up awhile... because of sleeping all day! actually wanted to hang out with daniel again, but he wasnt getting the hint obvisally! tuseday slept until noon and then spent the rest of the day running around town! got the new nicholas sparks book. got my phone fixed and got little ceasers! when i went in there i asked for bread and sauce preparing to pay for it. and tina gave it to me for free. it kinda disappointed me that i showed up a little late, because when i showed up debbie was leaving. and i hoped that maybe she took a look at my application! not that im worried about it, but it would be nice to knw if i got something or not! but not only that if i could start working weekends that would be AWESOME! but bhecause i dont come into town all the time it kinda screws everything up. i wouldnt mind calling debbie and sayin if she needed extra hands on halloween that i wouldnt mind coming in but i know she cant do that. eventually got back to school around 9, and now i need to study for old testament. and i cannot wait to go home this weekend and maybe hang out with daniel again MAWAHAHAHA |
||||
|
|
| Thursday, October 9th, 2008 |
|
||||
|
Immaturity, I thought many people/adults lost this when they graduated High School. Well I guess I was competely wrong. Lately, many of the people in our "HERD" have been acting like complete immature morons! Really how hard is it to act your age?! I dont know where any of this started, could be a rumor could be truth, but supposidly i was talking behind someones back...not all to sure whose exactly, which makes it even more mysterious! And on top of that told I was DUMB....ON FUCKING FACEBOOK!!!!! Really how much lower can a person get to attack someone on facebook. And I guess these so called people dont realize that my thoughts generally go way beyond compensation for people our ages thoughts, and I can only say this because, one I am not going out and calling people names and degrading them on facebook, and two I refuse to act immature and reap consequences of acting like so. I grew up way to fast and still have a mentality age of people older then us, I guess its hard to explain, without truly thinking about what i want to say because really i dont care anymore. if people want to act immature then thats fine, but im not going to stoop to their level to make them feel good, it gives them to much satisfacation, as well retaliating wont make me look any better or any smarter then them. And to top all of this off, being told that I am supposidly flirting with Ian, when i KNOW kelley likes him and he likes her, no one truly knows if he likes her that way or as friends, no one knows this information...and generally i dont expect Ian to tell anyone either. And also, I know how I flirt, and these 2 opinions, one mouth, who think i am flirting with Ian dont have a clue how I flirt we have only been around each other for 2 months. So how in the world could they possibly know what my fliritation styles are, when i really dont flirt with any guy here. I treat Ian like a good friend, because I can go to him in confidentality circumstances. Ian confronted me last night about the previous few hours, first and foremost he asked me how my day was - reply horrible. Then he procedied to ask me if they were ostracizing me, when in fact they were. and I told him this, and then when he turned around after i explained what was going on, which was only half of what was happening, because i left out being told that i was flirting with him because he wouldnt know what to say to that. he had given me a hug and told me that he wouldnt allieniate me which made me feel better. While today, i came out of speech and joined ian, Jacob and some other friends in the dining hall. I was asked how my day was going, which in response was "its been better then the past 24 hours." I knew that I shouldnt care what others think if I am flirting with Ian or not, because well in generocity to myself, i know what my flirtation styles are to begin with and two I am not about to be rude to Ian in no way shape or form. Because i know these so called people will run to each other any time I sit next to Ian, talk to Ian, look at Ian, in any way shape or form be his friend. I'm going to assume they love to gossip and want to play match maker but i guess what they dont realize is that first you have to be his friend before you can do anything else, and im sorry but i truly dont believe they are friends in no way shape or form. this has truly helped relieve some anger, a lot of anger and hatred is still built up but in time it will dissipate and i wont give a care anymore, because caring causes to much grief and time to do it. I know who my true friends are and i guess thats all that matter. If a person can come to me and possibly tell me they have a problem then thats their own right but going behind my back and saying stuff isnt going to make others like you! I just wish some people would realize this and move forward in their lives...but things like this doesnt happen over night...i guess its just a matter of time before their mentality reaches their age...which in my opinon could be never!!!! |
||||
|
|
| Sunday, October 5th, 2008 |
|
||||
|
I think I have found what I am looking for!!! I remember when I was with James that he supported every quality of future life that I wanted for myself and my family! But the only main problem there was, that he was 11 years older then I was. I threw up the whole idea of finding that perfect other half until college, in all hopes that God would grant me a guy who supported all my hopes and wishes for a future life! And I cant guarntee that what I think is true, but I am hoping and praying that what I feel is true! That whatever I hope for in the end wont result in heartbreak! "Love is patient Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 With Ian I have this strong feeling that he has the same values that I want for myself. Prayer at dinner, a family that goes to church together a life where the mom stays at home if she pleases all this and more is what I have always imagined and dreamed of, also, he never dated in high school because he has the value the he dates with the intention of marriage. and coming to think of it, with the exception of mike and james, i only dated Kenny in high school. Which coming to think about it could have been a good thing. because where kenny is now in life isnt where i am, we took 2 different paths. I plan to keep praying about what it is God wants me to do about Ian, something in me keeps saying this is true. The song by savage garden I knew I loved you reminds me soo much of the way i feel. I am not saying i love Ian because I dont but i believe that if something were to happen that I possibly could. a few nights ago he told me that i will make a great mother. and i know i have been told this before... but i guess i took it with a new light. all i can do is place this is Gods hands and pray that it will turn out the way i hope, but if ian isnt in my walk of life then it wasnt ment to happen. i know usually if a guy was to be shorter then i am, which in this case ian is, that i would be turned off. but with Ian everything about him overrides the fact that he is like an inch shorter then i am. also, around guys i am more then nervous, i usually am with Daniel. but with Ian its competely the opposite, (i remember at one point i knew chase could support what i wanted in life, but he had a girlfriend and still does, but i was shy around him. and were friends now) i can stand bein around Ian comfortably no matter what i look like because i know he isnt gonna judge me. it could possibly be because were friends to begin with, but that could also be where relationships begin! i know he likes nathalie, and i know she doesnt like him, but i can see it in the way he looks at her and talks to her. makes me feel a little intemidated, and maybe im gettin a little ahead of myself which could so possibly be true. but that just happens to be the way my mind works...runs wild well this is all i can stand thinkin about this, without gettin to far ahead of myself. so im callin it a night |
||||
|
|
| Friday, September 26th, 2008 |
|
||||
|
Not much has happened just a lot of emotional turn overs. I talked to Kenny for the first time in a few days, tonight. He appologized for not talking to me, and that he wants to be with me. And I pointed out that I want to be with him too just that I cant handle the on off switch option. Didnt get much of anywhere with that conversation because he was asleep. But hopefully he will text me tomorrow, because if he doesnt then we will have a problem he is still on probation for what I'm gonna have to find out. Tonight also, Ian, myself, Mindy and Beaty all watched A Walk to Remember. Ian was tearing up...that shows me he has a very sensitive side...and is a total romancer....I think! The emotional turn overs occured when Kenny wasnt textin or talking to me. It got me to thinking about other possibilities, because anything with Daniel is offically over...I'm not doing that again. God showed me that I had a chance of loving someone, and that doing things with Daniel was wrong. As well He took the pictures I had sent to Daniel off his phone, so those pictures are a no more. Now I'm just waiting for the notice if Kenny is wrong or not. But while Kenny wasnt talking, I got to thinking that I do actually like Ian and would date him. But knowing that Kelley likes him makes me want to let her have a chance at him. And thats what I'm going to do...until she either gives up or he turns her down. And everything with Kenny is cleared up. I just feel that with Ian I can be myself, I can hold a conversation with him and know that whatever I say isnt offending. We had a conversation a few nights ago about men. and suprisingly enough he agreed with me, we talked about dancing, ASL, plays and theatre....everything clicked...but with Kelley liking him makes me only want us to be friends. And I told Kelley that I like him, and that I plan to give her the chance to put her moves on him. As well I asked her that if she got her moves out and figured out she didnt like him or whatever, if i could have a chance...because I didnt want to step on her toes. also i told her she has absoutely no competition with me, so in the end there shouldnt be any hard feelings because she is too good of a friend to loose. And with Ian, i dont have a fear of calling him, or being alone with him. I dont feel nervous, i feel comfortable like we've known each other for awhile. I guess thats what your supposed to feel with a friend. and I know that if Ian is in my future that God will knock Kenny and Kelley out of the way and make it possible. So i'm leaving that in God's hands because worrying about if i will get what i want wont help me get what i want whatsoever so....itll work out in the end. so now...its time to go to bed...and go home tomorrow...yay!!! |
||||
|
|
| Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 |
|
||||
|
Havent updated on here in awhile, so I thought I should do some catching up. A lot has happened since the last post, the DC trip and so on. We'll start with Thursday, we left for DC, and stopped in Bedford Va for dinner and to visit the D-Day memorial. then had dinner, got to Washington DC around 11pm. We met in the Monet rooms and got our suite mates and door keys, and went up to our rooms. After getting up to our rooms and waiting for our bags to arrive, a bunch of us went out onto the pool area. Now the pool was located on the 12th floor of this hotel. so our room and many others because this hotel was built like a big square and on top of a mall which is all over the metro, were on this floor. A bunch of us met up in the pool area and talked, and ended up getting 22 different complaints that first night from other guests. and eventually a woman came out and said the pool area was off limits at this hour...boo hoo! so we all went back to our rooms, and mainly got ready for bed. Friday, we had to meet in the Monet rooms at 8:45, now the night before I didnt get to bed until 1am so i was exhausted. After what you could call a church service, did we then break into our tracs. mine for the day way Spy v.s Spy museum, so we all got on the metro and went to the museum. which was a load of crap, it wasnt even worth going to. to say the least i was not into it whatsoever, but its whatever. after the museum, we ate at this expensive cafe that was part of the museum. then our group split off, most went to see the white house. and me and a trac leader went to a art gallery...that was interesting to say the least. afterwards we took the metro back to the hotel. i relaxed because i had a migraine, took a shower and got ready for dinner. that night for dinner we all went to this small italian place...we had more then 100 people with us so this place was packed. they served us a mass meal of bread, salad, spaghetti, chicken parmasen, and chicken alfredo and in the end extra chocolate cake...it was good but too rich for me. After that we went to a synphony, it was ok. not my thing personally...we had to endure 3 hours of this, and also the whole time Sam and Joe were feeling each other up. Sam complained alot about her not wanting joe to do that but she never said no...and he just pushed her...he reminds me of JOE! After the synphony we all went back to the hotel and i dont remember exactly what happened after that. Saturday, we all went to the Arlington Cementry, one girl passed out because it was soo hot and walking in the hotness wasnt good for her without water. After watching the changing of the guards and the laying of the King College Wreath and some other wreath, did we meet and got a group picture. Once that was complete did we split off into our trac groups. At this time i was starting to get a blister on the back of my ankle. so the walk back was pretty painful. we went to the holocost museum after the arlington cementry. some cried, i however didnt, only because it wasnt my thing...there was way to many people to get into it and understand what was happening. so i just walked through it pretty quickly. then after the holocost museum we had to meet up at the smithsonian metro stop and what not. i went back to the hotel with my trac leaders...was assumed as a teacher...but that was easily corrected...quite funny though! waited for all the girls in my room to go out and celebrate Alleys birthday. After they all left i changed into my bathing suit and joined some other friends at the pool...which was really COLD. afterwards, showered and joined those same friends on the trip to china town to eat...where we didnt even eat. we trucked our butts i think it was 10 blocks to union station to eat. saw some deaf people signing...it was the greatest thing i had seen the whole trip. showed Ian and he was competely amazed. afterwards we all split off and me and a few others went to the pentagon...then we all split again. and went back to the hotel. where we met up at a friends hotel room and played cards...what a freaking night. after playing cards i went back to my room. chillen in the room across from ours, because the girls in my room were chillen with a lot of guys i didnt know. around 1 am kelley, joe, sam and nathalie arrived back at the hotel. shortly after that i went to my room and waited for the drunk guy to leave and for beaty to leave too. so that night when i finally went to sleep which was about 2 am i got the whole bed to myself...and DAMN those beds were soo comfortable. Sunday morning we had to get up early to attend churches of our choice. i choose the black church...which was REALLY REALLY long...but good. i fell asleep during worship and felt back but got a little of energy back. afterwards we went to union station to eat and load up on our buses. and on the way back i had choose the very worst seat to sit in, it wouldnt lay back. so i sat up straight the whole ride home. but got some sleep...right before we stopped to eat dinner on I-81. half way back to school we saw the most horrific accident. on the other side of the highway though. there was jaws of life, a helicopter, 2 cars and a semi. the semi was bent like an L, one car was absoutely totaled...whoever was in the car if they survived...were one blessed by God, and two didnt walk away without some sort of injury. the other cars front end was totaled. of course it was blocked off...and there were soo many semis sitting waiting in the line. in which i realized one had their cautions lights on. that made me realize that one semi truck drivers do care for other drivers and they all talk to each other. once we got back we had to find our suitcases and what not. some went to get things to eat...at that time i didnt feel good at all so i went straight to sleep. monday i skiped comp. and thats about all i did that day besides class. tuseday i went to class and went and babysat for the mustards. wedusday dont remember doing much of anything. thursday skipped my first year seminar and went to speech. then went and baby sat for the mustards. got paid, went to big lots and got note cards for my speech and went to sonic. came back to school walked straight to the dining hall...picked at my gross dinner. then went with Ian, and Kelley to Liston to do nothing. Well we went to get cough drops. and Lilla followed us. Eventually we decided to get a pizza from domonios. in which lillia invited herself to eat some of our pizza. and ever since then she has been following Ian around whenever she sees him. friday stayed on campus. watched ratouille in liston and ate pizza. then saturday went home to go to the doctors. and came back to school. talked to Kenny saturday...it started out random and then he got all offensive because he thought at that moment i was doing things with Daniel, in which i wasnt...it had been a few weekends ago. and once he heard that he stepped off and then i asked him, if he got all offensive because he still cared about me and he said that was the reason and then we got onto that subject again like always. then sunday slept as much as i could. went to walmart with Ian, Kelley, Lisa, and Robert. got a weird frisbee thing. but its fun none the less then that night chilled in liston again, but didnt order pizza...but talked with brittany abuot her moving out of her dorm with mindy...until 1am, in which i came back to my room, showered and ended up writing kenny a letter that i ended up sending to him at 230 in the morning... in which didnt allow me to get to sleep until 3am. yesterday i skipped my comp class again. had a hall meeting, we learned that next friday we will be having a sadie hawkins dance. in which we ask the guy by throwing a water balloon at them...so they better watch out. i still have yet to think of someone, but then they told us that it will go on all week. there will be flowers, ribbons and T-shirts and on friday a dance which is 80's theme so this should be quite interesting. later that night chilled in liston AGAIN and ordered pizza. but ended that night early there and came back to my room and uploaded DC pictures onto facebook. then went to sleep. Today got up for both of my classes, did my speech which wasnt as horrible as i kind of expected but it was relaxed and did as good as i could considering i did the speech in one week. then instead of getting to go and baby sit for the mustards because Jane took the car back. did i get to acutally take a nap. so around 1 i took a nap and woke up around 545 checked my emails and went to dinner. then afterwards we played frisbee...then the chior kids left us. and thats when we just sat around on the oval and talked. once the chior kids were done we got to play ultimate frisbee...which in my opinion is better then just throwing a frisbee around. then sat on the benches and talked until 8, katie was taking pictures and they were hularious too. around 8 we went to liston to play cards...while the other half of our group watched road trip. it was me, Ian, Kelley, Jessica, Matt and TJ that all played spoons for a few. then lisa called and kelley had to go and rescue her because she ran out of gas. then they came back, we had played BS, then played this horrible injury card game. its kind of like war. you go in order Ace to Kings and whenever you say the name of the card that your laying down you hit the deck. playing that game i go wounded...not only did our hands go numb. but Ian hit my hand just right that it scrapped the skin off my finger...which caused it to bleed obvisally...afterwards we finished that game we all broke off and went to our rooms. Ian had left a few minutes early to go play soccer. so once he was done with that he met me at the door of lower and i gave him his cards back and here i am now....and talking to this crazy guy that i had met on personals a long time ago!!! |
||||
|
|
| Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 |
|
||
|
Since Saturday night, sooo much has happened its pretty unbelievable and quite frightening! Sunday morning, I joined my mom, brother, and sister with my moms friend and cousin for breakfast. Afterwards, we followed them back to their house, where my mom helped them make a tent garage. Everything was chill until me, amy and jane went to food city to get ice cream. Well if my timeline is correct, the accident occured not long after we left, my mom said we werent gone long before the accident occured and she called the ambulance. My moms friends cousin, Nan, fell off a cinder blocks and hit large rocks...when we got back from the store the EMS and rescue squad were leaving. When we parked, my mom met Jane on the poarch, my mom started explaining things, beating around the bush that the EMS took nan to the hospital. Jane asked if first assist was open, that she would much rather take her there. My mom said that she needed to go in, and that we would follow the EMS to the hospital. And i guess Jane either didnt hear her or just blocked her out, but when she went into the house she started calling Nans name, when nan didnt answer Jane broke down and asked where Nan was...she was in hysterica, she scarred not only myself but my sister as well. my mom took Jane to the hospital, and thats when i started freaking out. I know how slow hospitals tend to be, and how long waits can be and I didnt want my mom to leave Jane at the hospital without Nan. I guess my mom had the same worry, and didnt want to leave Jane there alone either. So I took my brothers friend home, and went to the hospital to get keys for the tracker to drive back to school. went back to Janes house, locked up the house, got my sister and got everything out of my moms car, loaded everything and everyone back into the car and went back to the hospital. gave my mom Janes cell phone, and so on. left there and went back to our house. packed for school ate, and packed some chinease for later. Left the house a little after 7 and made it to the school around 800 or so, unpacked, went over to security and got tags for my car, parked my car in freshman parking called security and they came and picked me up...got dropped off at the dining hall, went in and got my things for the DC meeting. sat down and started to shake, didnt know if it was because i was hungry, tried, frightened, shocked or a mixture of it all. but after the meeting, a bunch of friends and myself went to Taco Bell, ate then went to walmart for stupid reasons. After getting back I unpacked fully and just wanted to relax. thats when i started getting stupid txt messages from at the time a cellphone number i didnt know, literally getting harassed. once that finally ended i passed out willingly. Got up monday morning, as usual, went to class had breakfast and so on. came back after that class and slept until noon...ate some of the leftover chinease.... which was a stupid move, being it hadnt been refridgerated since i packed it. went to class, met up with some friends after class...ate cake and had a little bit of dinner. then came back to my room. checked my email, and had 2 about babysitting. called both, got one set for monday night. and the other one i called, and met them at their home, they have 2 twin boys that are 1 month old, named Maddox and Brodie. cutest little things ever! we talked, i got to hold each boy before i left. for that one I'll only work tusedays and thursdays until christin goes back to work late october. which is something i am excited about! it isnt much but its better then nothing and with them babysitting jobs they shouldnt really interfear with school. and doing this will allow me to save up for my own car. after meeting with the mustards, i came back to the school, got TJ and Jon, and Lisa and we went to walmart. I just drug lisa with me because I didnt want to have to go with these boys alone. i got some batteries, chapstick, and pantieliners for the trip. went by hardees and i got a drink. came back to school, dropped lisa off at her dorm room and went back up to parking and called security to come get us to take us to liston. after getting back to my room, i ate the rest of the chinease that i brought with me...mistake number two. This morning, got up at 8 am and went to class, and felt fine, went to my second class and started to get really ill really fast. after that class, went to the dining hall and ate. still felt fine then, but still felt kinda off.. went outside and chilled for a little while, came back inside the dining hall and really had to use the restroom...the onstart of food posioning. ate lunch, and afterwards went back to my room and packed for the DC trip and went to sleep...slept until about 15 'til 5 and went and met nancy up at the library to get some help on my math. while walking up to the library...felt HORRIBLE. met with nancy for about a half hour, understood my math. and from there went to the dining hall and got super sick. I was in the bathroom for a good half hour, i think. afterwards made myself go and eat. after eatting came back to my room, and rewrote my speech notes so theyre all in the same note book. talked to Ian about math, but didnt talk for long because of not feeling good, and already getting help. it wouldnt make sense to go to him for help when I already got it. i rewrote my math homework and watched Sweet Life of an American Teenager. enjoyed it... And now, I have the feeling of getting sick again. more then likely I will.... Tomorrow, I dont have class until 1pm which I'm happy about, I am gonna sleep in...as long as I can and sleep this virisus off! and Thursday, normally i would have my freshman class, which got cancelled automatically for the trip, and my speech teacher cancelled class only for me! but in the same I might go just because I dont really need to not go, but we'll see how things play out! Tried gettin through to Tyler, his facebook status' isnt like him, kinda depressing. a. "is not well" b. "why cant we go back to the way things were" Usually I try not to worry about him, but I cant help it when it comes to him. he can be an ass and he can be a sweetheart. depends on his mood. my theory on this is that something happened with a girl, or friends. Not any friends from home, but friends at VIC. and it worries me because he wasnt really liking VIC in the beginning, i havent talked to him much since then, he ignores me for the most part and I havent a clue why exactly but it isnt something for me to worry about. I just dont like seeing him that way, i care to much for him, and it bothers me because i know that we'll more then likely never be anything more then friends, which is okay...i mean im not gonna lie i wouldnt mind dating him, but i dont see it happening. we are too different. and i'm friends with a bunch of his friends, it would never WORK.... |
||
|
|
| Saturday, September 6th, 2008 |
|
||||
|
My mom came and got me Friday afternoon about 3 or so, didnt get home until 4. Sat around the house for awhile, before going to platos for Marlene to look at stupid clothes, and I looked at some cars that were sitting in a empty parking lot that were for sale...which they were all to much! Then headed over towards my aunts and stopped at Salleys for me to get some hair dye. While in there my sister went and looked in a shoe store....which she ended up dragging my mom into. Where my mom bought Marlene a pair of 40.00 shoes only because they were comfortable. But not even a half hour earlier she was telling Marlene that she couldnt and wouldnt get her any clothes. That she didnt have the money, but she buys her these damn ugly shoes. And the whole time i dropped 15.00 on hair dye, and when I asked my mom if she would come in with me she told me that she wasnt going in at all...a Hypocrite if you ask me...buying her 40.00 shoes, all the while complaining that she doesnt have the money....hummm doesnt make much sense if you ask me. Anyway on to the better parts of the weekend, after going to my aunts, which we left there about 10pm, we came back to the house. I eventually convienced my mom to let me have the car to go hang out with Daniel. Finally showed up over at Daniels dorm around 11pm. We chilled for about 45 mins, and then thats when I would say things started to heat up. His face was priceless but none the less sooo adorablely cute. We didnt go far, as Daniel put it, between second and third base. I know he wanted third base, and I wasnt actually denying any of it, but being on my period kind of kept me away from that stage only because of the fact that, thats pretty gross. And he didnt exactly take it as a disappointment, mostly because I reassured him it could go further at a later time. After all of this, I went with him to get hardees, and then I headed home...which by then it was 2am. hopefully the next time we hang out it could go a little later, espically if his roommate is gone, which this time he was too.... Today (sat) got up around 11am, showered, dressed and went to my moms company picinic. Which in my opinion was quite boring. But it had free food, which wasnt all that good anyway...but it wasted some of the day. Afterwards, went over to my aunts and she died my hair, now it is a dar strawberry blonde...kinda cute but really isnt my color. This is only because I have a complexion of a dark brunette, and with dark eyebrows it doesnt look all that right. So after the DC trip my aunts gonna redye it for me, this time she says shes gonna get the color. Afterwards, we went and got Chinease food and thats when my mom and I talked about having an 18th birthday party for me....which she agreed would be good. So I need to find something that will hold about 20 people and what goes for high schoolers and college students. But it shouldnt be too hard, hopefully! Now I'm working on finishing my laundry and relaxing....tomorrow have to get back to school before 9pm, not that, that will be hard or anything. As well as get up and make myself go to church in the moring, and hopefully see some of my long lost friends. Tonight, I actually really wouldnt mind hanging out with Daniel again, but being hes working until midnight I'm pretty sure that isnt gonna work out. As well, I really wanna know where this whole thing with Daniel is going, I know that right now he doesnt want a girlfriend. But if it keeps going this way...it just worries me as to where this could lead. Because I know I would date him, but if I was to get a boyfriend it would hurt his feelings to know that, as well as to tell the future boyfriend that I have been fooling around with a guy friend....that could end a relationship easily... Well thats my weekend, whoohoo what fun! |
||||
|
|
| Friday, September 5th, 2008 |
|
||||
|
I truly believe that I ask way to many questions...that I analyze everything to an extent of over-exaggeration. I guess its to answer all the questions that run in my head and become frequently unanswered. Beyond that random note, Daniel wants to hang out this weekend. Not to sure what to truly think about that, Daniel is by no means my type what so ever...but because we get along so great its easy to have fun with him. But at the same time, I also believe we have never truly hung out one on one before because if we do...something that God does not want to happen, will! And I see this, but the problem is I don't know how to go about telling Daniel that we shouldn't hang out we're friends! Why does he have to like me but not want a relationship? I guess if we're not meant to hang out then it just wont happen...whatever we try to do will always fail, to keep us from making a regretful and maybe even consequental mistake. Going home tomorrow, hopefully gonna get my hair done...Friday night! Saturday I'm going to my moms works picnic and then to my dads house for his and my sisters belated birthday party...that should be fun.....NOT! Then back to school sometime Sunday. And in the mean time try to get laundry done, work on whatever homework is given and redirect myself with friends. And on top of all of that try and convience my mom to go to the bank and see if they will allow her to pull out a car loan. And to see what type of interest rate she'll be given. Because I know that I can get a car at a 9.5% loan for a car thats under $5,000, but if my mom can get a lower interest rate wouldn't it make more sense to have her sign the loan and myself just pay the loan off? Because with an high interest rate and myself paying for gas and insurance, it would be quite hard to accomplish all tasks with a months paycheck, alone. As well this will allow myself to go get a regular job, one that pays above minimum wage, and allows me to get some hours in. These campus jobs at minimum wage and only 8 hours a week wont cut it. Mon. Wed. and Fri. I have 3 classes, which only allows me to work in the evenings or possibly not at all, then Tus. and Thur I have classes until 10, which will allow me to work both Tus. and Thur for most of the day without over doing myself and still allow me to accomplish studying and homework. And personally I have found out that I love working and cannot stand sitting still for more then a few hours. Well its coming up on 1am and I have a 9:15 class in the morning, so basically I'm screwing myself over by not going to sleep...but tomorrow shouldnt be soo bad! Being the weekend is only hours away, classes are easy, and we leave for DC in a week! WHOO HOO! Cant wait for that trip!!! |
||||
|
|
| Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 |
|
||||
|
First and foremost, this is my journal, my space to vent...if you don't like the way my life runs, what I think or what I have to say...whatever you say isn't gonna change how I live my life, what I think or what I have to say...so keep it to yourself. I'm not usually a bitch, but sure as hell if you want to piss me off I can become your worst enemy! Now that we have that out of the way, lets begin... Today, well today was only another day, not to bad considering the people that I constantly have to deal with! I question my sanity when I hang out with these few selected people. Lets give them names, Mindy and Joe to be more exact! Mindy is a hypocritical bitch who thinks shes all that, and talks about SEX constantly. Now I am still a virgin, and hope to keep it that way, and I know my fair share of sex, but come one who needs to talk sex almost all the time. Joe, he is a whole other story, a guy who tells Mindy his deepest secrets about his girlfriend and well myself. avoids his girlfriend and doesn't even tell her they're broken up and just competely ignores me for no apparent reason...and wouldnt tell me why. Well because of him telling mindy and her opening her mouth I knew where to go for information and it just got into a big old mess...so now even though I knew I lost him as a friend, I know I cant care if I lost him as a friend becasue that would mean caring about someone who doesn't care back. Basically a simple thing gone complicated, and something that has to be dealt with day to day. Other then these select few life is normal, except for Daniel, who well I couldnt exactly tell you what we are to each other...I'd say more then friends but less then a relationship...who knows! Knowing him he prolly doesnt even know either... This weekend should be interesting, going home, and getting to prepare for the trip to DC. Also hopefully I'll get to hang out with Daniel, I hate cancelling on the boy but when your exhausted to the point of literally passing out while standing, thats when you have a problem...so it was hard to stay up late and hang out with him. As much as I wanted to and as much as I tried to stay awake it just didnt work the way I planned. So in all hopes maybe if he doesnt get off to late, and I'm not competely ready to fall asleep then we can hang out. Being 17 actually sucks right now, because besides from working on campus, I cant really have a job. But I plan to atleast once I turn 18 to find a car and use whatever money I'm getting back from scholorships to use towards a car and whatever else I need to get that car get a loan, and get a job. And once second semester starts whatever amount I get back I can put towards that loan. But the problem is finding a decent car that isnt expensive and that I can afford the montly loans on top of insurance and gas...if its ment to work out I know it will so worrying and plotting wont work. Well I think this is enough of a first post to vent enough to understand life. Its time to go to sleep and maybe read before class tomorrow...such a horrible person |
||||
|
|
|
|
InsaneJournal for Amanda.
|
||||||||||